.: Roberts' Reviews - Movie Reviews :.

Every year Hollywood releases a dozen or so big budget and larger marketed films that are so painful to watch that the only thing worse than having to sit through the complete running time, is sitting in front of a computer a few hours later trying to squeeze out a few hundred words to review the film.

Bewitched is one of those films.

Yet another failure in trying to bring a sub-classic television program to the big screen (Charlie's Angels and Starsky and Hutch, anyone?) Bewitched showed more promise on paper thanks to its stars Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell and its writer/director Nora Ephron (When Harry Met Sally).

Not wanting to waste my time in telling the details of the flimsy script, I have stolen the summary written by Sujit R. Varma and posted on the website www.imdb.com :

"Out in California's San Fernando Valley, Isabel (Kidman) is trying to reinvent herself. A naïve, good-natured witch, she is determined to disavow her supernatural powers and lead a normal life. At the same time, across town, Jack Wyatt (Ferrell) a tall, charming actor is trying to get his career back on track. He sets his sights on an updated version of the beloved 1960s situation comedy Bewitched, re-conceived as a starring vehicle for himself in the role of the mere-mortal Darrin. Fate steps in when Jack accidentally runs into Isabel. He is immediately attracted to her and her nose, which bears an uncanny resemblance to the nose of Elizabeth Montgomery, who played Samantha in the original TV version of Bewitched. He becomes convinced she could play the witch Samantha in his new series. Isabel is also taken with Jack, seeing him as the quintessential mortal man with whom she can settle down and lead the normal life she so desires. It turns out they're both right--but in ways neither of them ever imagined."

If it sounds even remotely interesting or innovative, rest assured that the production is laced with such childish humor, uninteresting characters and ridiculous situational comedy that any ounce of originality is vaporized before you get through your second handful of overpriced popcorn.

Now, I can spend time and discuss the fact that I give Kidman a Get Out Of Jail Free card for all her outstanding independent and Oscar worthy film choices. I could also talk in great lengths on how Will Ferrell is beginning to bore us at the box office as he continues to churn out films more frequently than I do laundries and that he seems to always play a variation of the same character time and time again. And maybe I could waste a paragraph or two on how Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine sometimes even looked embarrassed to be on the screen in such a dud.

But why would I waste my time.

Bewitched is awful. At 102 minutes (433 minutes if you include the commercials and the trailers), it was a waste of time. And I just don't see the point in spending more of my time here talking about it.