.: Roberts' Reviews - Movie Reviews :.

In 1981 as a young teenager, I headed to the local mall to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. Back then, movies didn't get the media - television and print - coverage that they do today. There were no such programs as Entertainment Tonight and box-office numbers were news, just not front page news where they sometimes find themselves today. Even Siskel and Ebert was a show that everyone knew, but few watched due to the odd air times and the fact that the internet had yet to be the premiere source for information.

Most of what I knew of the film came from friends and classmates who had seen the film. I think it was the first time I heard someone use the word 'experience' in their description of a film viewing. So, it was on a fairly warm Saturday afternoon that I headed up to the Yorkdale cinemas to catch the film whose poster was that of a young Harrison Ford (well, young-er) smiling wearing a cowboy hat with a whip extending from his hand over his head.

The film was exhilarating. Heart pumping, non-stop action and comedy that was like nothing I had ever seen before. When the film ended briskly in under two hours, I left the theatre and got back in line to purchase tickets for the next show. I was seated for the second viewing still eating out of the popcorn tub that I received just a few hours earlier.

The second viewing was just as magical as the first. I didn't watch the film looking for things that I might have missed the first time around. I just sat there as a kid enjoying a film. I can imagine that the glow given off by my grinning teeth during the entire screening must have bothered other people who were sitting anywhere within a three row, four aisle radius of me.

When the John Williams score that would later become one of the most famous in film history, played in my ears over the end credits, I was already going through my pockets to see if I had the few dollars needed to see the film again. Luckily, I had just enough and there I was - three Raiders in eight hours.

Before the end of the week, I had Raiders action cards, the Raiders of the Lost Ark LP and 45 that were just the audio of the film and I played them over and over and over again until I knew the film's dialogue off-by-heart. By the end of the theatrical run, I had been to the film eleven times to see Raiders and I would have to credit the Steven Spielberg/George Lucas film as being the film that started my love and obsession with everything filmdom.

Three years later and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was released and I was again booking off a day for multiple viewings. Although I agreed that the same adrenaline and goose bumps that the first film generated with ease was not as consistent in Temple, I still had a rollicking good time. By the time the third film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade was released in 1989, Indy had already become an iconic hero - one of the most popular in film history. Archeology was cool and no one did it better than our whip totting Henry Jones Jr.

It was 19 years ago that I last shared in the magic of watching an Indiana Jones film in a theatre full of just as an excited audience. During that almost two decade void, there have been countless rumors of a possible fourth Indiana Jones film. Names rumored to have been working on scripts included Kevin Smith and Frank Darabont. But year after year, they remained just that. Rumors.

Spielberg went on to gather a hardware collection of accolades. Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan and The Color Purple would show that he could handle the heavy topics and handle them well. Lucas went on to complete his Star Wars prequels - which too had lay dormant like Indy for long past their shelf life.

But in 2007, the stars aligned. Lucas and Spielberg both had availability on their schedules and Ford agreed to reprise his role as the legendary archeologist on a story designed by George Lucas and scripted by David Koepp (Spider-Man, War of the Worlds).

News struck us film geeks like a tsunami. Those of us that were young and saw the original films in the theatre remembered the feels of joy and sheer awe that we experienced before our kids were born. We were excited and May 22, 2008 was a day that we had circled on our fridge calendars.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull starts showing us our hero in a perilous situation. Much like the previous films, we don't get far into a screening without our hero trying to escape a life threatening situation. Indy is presented to us as older. He has aged the 19 years since the last film and Lucas and Spielberg do nothing to hide it having the film set 19 years since we last saw him riding into the sunset with his father.

The era is updated also and the villains switch from the Germans to the Russians lead by one Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett) who forces Indy and his partner Mack (Ray Winstone) into assisting with the recovery of a crate that contains an item of extreme interest to the Soviet Union.

Reluctantly, Indy assists in the search and soon after its discovery we have the first true Indy moment - his escape, which is filmed in thrilling action sequences. He swings on his wipe like Tarzan on vines, dodges bullets and crashes through walls. Because technology has improved by leaps and bounds since 1989, we even get the joy of seeing Indy try and escape the effects of a nearby atomic explosion which completely devastates the Atomic City he just happened to stumble upon his escape.

The entire sequence might have been thrilling years ago, but in the age of Bourne Identities and Die Hards, it was just average. Put in the sheer ridiculousness of the getaway and opening was more of a James Bond (Brosnan Bond) than it was classic Indy.

We plod along and soon we get introduced to Mutt Williams played by the surprisingly versatile Shia LaBeouf. Mutt is attempting to persuade the part-time teacher Jones to help with the rescuing of his mom, Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen in a second Indy term) and friend Oxley (John Hurt) who have been captured by the Russians for reasons not yet revealed.

If Indiana Jones had second thoughts about assisting in Mutt's adventure, his mind was quickly made up for him as Russian agents soon mad Mutt and Indy fighting and motorcycling away from the motivated baddies in the second action sequence that - like the first - was ok by Indy standards, we just expect more.

The movie takes turns that you will either feel comfortable or alienated (wink wink) with. As Indy and Irina square off repeatedly we will be seasoned with sequence after sequence of what made the Indy films so memorable. Car chases, people who can take a punch and get right back up and throw another and an animal/creature of mass disgust, this time - killer red ants (Raiders had snakes, Temple had a whole bevy of insects and The Last Crusade had rats).

The story is willy nilly at best and would probably have you roll your eyes had you read it on the script pages. It involves aliens, a lost city, crystal skulls that look like they were molded after Ridley Scott's alien and a revelation regarding the relationship between Indy and Mutt that might allow for future Jones adventures with a younger angle.

I wanted Indy to be good. Not even great. Just good. I was convinced that there was no way I could relive the magic of the first film now that I am older - more cynical and pessimistic. But I still went it to the fourth film just hoping for the film to be average.

Well, as the saying goes, "Be careful for what you wish for" because I was on the fence almost from the opening credits and there was nothing in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull that excited, invigorated or even had me reminiscing about the glory days of the 80's entries.

They did try. Hell, they almost forced some of the history of the three previous films down our throats. The Ark makes an interesting cameo, Indy's fear of snakes and pictures of Sean Connery and Dr. Marcus Brody are squeezed into the story so that we don't forget how we got here in the first place.

So why didn't it work? Well, many reasons. Ford for one seemed bored. Not old. Bored in the reprisal of our hero. The set designs were awful. You could tell they were on soundstages and the backgrounds and surrounds at times looked like a Roger Corman film.

Cate Blanchett was also a distraction and I am not just talking about the haircut and accent. Her reactions to things that were clearly green-screened were overcooked and came across as campy. And the wonderful Jim Broadbent - well, he was just wasted in a role that was serving little purpose.

The story was the biggest let down. I have no problem with aliens. Particularly aliens in the hands of Lucas and Spielberg, but it just didn't fit right in the Indy catalogue. And the action sequences that got us to the aliens by the end of the film were just too cartoonish for me to endorse. A particular offering of Mutt playing Tarzan with some monkeys in the jungle was just a bit too much. And if you think your characters can do just about anything to get to the final frame, then there really is no jeopardy involved in the journey. Again, it was like Bronson's Bond where you never had to worry about your hero being harmed in any way no matter how many bullets are being sprayed in his direction (at least Indy in the first film got shot).

It wasn't a complete loss. I enjoyed Shia's Mutt immensely and would hope that the series continues with Mutt in the lead role and Ford taking over the Connery type supporting role.

But when I left the theatre, I felt nothing. I didn't feel happy to have been revisited with some of my most beloved characters in film history. I didn't have any sense of great adventure and I didn't care for the whole alien storyline.

Sorry Indy. I do hope I see you again. I just didn't wish I bumped into you with this format.