.: Roberts' Reviews - Movie Reviews :.

Why?

When I heard that the brothers Wachowski were sitting in the director's chair again for the first time since the conclusion of their highly successful Matrix series, I questioned why they took an adaptation of an Asian cartoon as their springboard. Why. Why? Why! And Speed Racer to boot? WHY. WHY? WHY! If those 'whys' were in my head prior to early May, they were ringing like Quasimodo's ears at noon now that I have sat through the screening.

Speed Racer stars Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) as Speed (I know, I laughed too). Speed is a natural behind the wheel and dreams of winning The Crucible - a high speed race that goes cross country and was responsible for the crashing death of his brother Rex. To say that Speed is addicted to racing is like saying that paparazzi are attracted to anyone with the last name of Spears. It is an obsession.

We get the notion of his passion from the opening scenes where he is drawing cartoons in class on his test papers at a young age. His mother (played by the forgettable Susan Sarandon) goes to the school and speaks to the teacher that reveals Speed's preoccupation, but little can dissuade Speed from his passion. When his brother picks him up after school, he becomes someone who shines with the brightness of a glow worm at the fact that Rex is in a cool car driving him home.

The opening scenes combine live action with animation with CGI and I was dazzled and confused at exactly what the Wachowski's were trying to accomplish with the uneven mix.

The plot thickens as Speed turns down a lucrative offer from a conglomerate and then uncovers that races are being fixed by shady individuals looking to profit on the betting outcome. His reluctance to join the collective and his fact finding observations have the Royalton company targeting Speed to ensure that he does not finish the race - or even survive for that matter.

Throughout the neon and sunglass inducing scenes, Speed teams up with Racer X (Matthew Fox) and with his lovely girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) in toe they set out to win the race and reveal to the world the conspiracy.

To say that I didn't like Speed Racer would maybe be unfair to a film production that I just didn't understand. Maybe it's best to say that I didn't 'get' Speed Racer. The effects were probably exactly as the Wachowski brothers envisioned. They are bright, fast and colorful. They match the television series, but for those of us that grew up on CGI and Industrial Light and Magic effects, they were just too distracting to look beyond. Sure the racing scenes were wonderful to watch - for a minute. But they go one too long and my head began to hurt.

Everyone looked and acted as if they were standing in front of a green screen. Which they were - I just didn't get it. It was as if I was watching a play that had a big budget. A really really big budget.

If the distractions in the production were not enough to make me want to sit in a dark room for an hour to decompress, the acting was also painful. Hirsch with his helmet and Trixie with her hair were frightening enough, John Goodman looked too much like something out of Mario Bros. for me not to laugh. And don't even get me started on the annoying Rex and his monkey!

When I discussed my distaste for the summer entry, a fan of Speed Racer quickly commented on how close the film tried to get to the animated series. If that was the goal, then they succeeded in spades. I just didn't care for it. Not one bit. And all those flashing lights and colors made me want to wear earth tones for the rest of the week to give my eyes a rest.

Speed Racer will be good for the kiddies. It was made for the family unit and it does nothing to offend the circuit. But for adults, there is nothing here to enjoy. Save your money and hope that Indiana Jones out in two weeks is better worth your dollars.