.: Roberts' Reviews - Movie Reviews :.

I have a confession to make. I own the movie Crank. Yes, the same film I stretched to a 2-star review starring action man Jason Statham sits right alongside my copy of Slumdog Millionaire and The Unforgiven.

I'll be honest that repeat viewings haven't made the movie any better. But, it was never meant to be the second coming of Gone With The Wind. It's base was a story that was so violent and cartoonish that you could just sit there mind frozen for 90 minutes and be entertained in a live-action cartoon kind of way.

Considering how the first Crank ended, ie. Chev Chelios (Statham) falling from the sky and splatting on the street, Crank 2 was something that I never thought possible. Not to mention a less than mediocre $44 million worldwide gross.

Guess it's true that Hollywood is indeed running out of new ideas because Chelios is back for Crank 2: High Voltage.

Crank 2 has Chelios again running against the clock to save his hide. This time, his heart has been taken by crooked surgeons and he has one hour of battery juice left in the manufactured ticker to get his own heart back or he dies. Along the way, Chelios is instructed by his doctor (played over the top by country star Dwight Yoakam) to continue to keep the electricity pumping in the battery pack controlling his artificial heart.

This leads to some ridiculous moments such as Chelios sticking his wet finger into a car cigarette lighter or hooking his nipples up to a car battery.

And maybe we should focus more on the word ridiculous than any other to describe Crank High Voltage. This is a film that is truly off the wall. It's adrenaline pumping mindless crap that doesn't ask to be accepted for anything more than that and does a good job of keeping things moving while expectations are at its lowest.

If seeing Statham in good action sequences rambling off a few Schwarzenegger leftover one-liners (circa 1987) is your thing, then Crank High Voltage might rank high in your Mindless Top 10's by the end of the year.

But for a paying customer, forking over the $13 smacks to see a live action Bugs Bunny on steroids type film is probably too much to bare. And spending an additional 400 words on this review also seems like a waste of valuable time.